Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
