dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
