i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
