: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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