I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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