Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
