I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
