if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize