The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Sext me about skeletons
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
