whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just want nice things and good sex
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
