He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize