Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
