I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
