Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
