Sponge bath it is.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
