it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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