you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
