I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
