You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
