Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
