You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
