God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
