apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
