we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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