You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
