we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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