there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize