Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
