i just had sex bonerless
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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