this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
