I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
