alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
