He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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