how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
