tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize