Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You're like the curious george of whores
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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