Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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