smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
