It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
