guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
tell me about the fingering
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