Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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