too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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