i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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