Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
