And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
