What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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