let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
