I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
