She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
being pregnant is like rehab
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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