Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
