HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize
