every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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