Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
ttyl tear gas
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
