That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
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