what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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