no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
