That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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