No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
