no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
