I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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