I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
