I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
