even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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