I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
