That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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