if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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