Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We left the knife in your bed.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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