"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
