38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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