You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
