so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
