Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
