I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
