If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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