Welp...herpes.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
