there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Pants are for mortals
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
