so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
