i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
