I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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