Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
