i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
