I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
