I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
