her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
