oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
