we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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