An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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