i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
