Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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