I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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