Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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