so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
